Oh.
Hey, how’s it going?
Look at that, it’s the same month, another post, I’m on fire!
Life is, well, what it is, for better and for worse.
What matters is I’m doing well.
I think that matters.
Right?
I am working for this company still, they are seriously so awesome, sent me this silly little package with some random items and I couldn’t help but laugh and miss them, even if I was only there for a few months, they became friends. Speaking of which, I should thank them for that, I received it over the weekend. I’m currently waiting to install new equipment, a big reason I’m here with this company, that and providing upkeep to the existing equipment. It’s nearly everything I could ask for in a job, and I hope to make this my long time career.
Dating life is, well, also what it is; I’m dating, I’m also learning that some things should be private, so I’m not really going to discuss it. It’s a roller-coaster at times, new and exciting, and the twists and turns can make my stomach do flips, but I’m enjoying it nonetheless. I’m comfortable on my own, but I’m also comfortable with the idea of having someone in my life again, and that feels like growth. I’m not in any rush though, and I’m pretty vocal about it, I try to be anyway.
Outside of work, I spend a lot of time with my kids, they’re getting bigger, doing more for themselves, but they’ll always feel like my babies… It’s funny I never understood the sentiment until having kids of my own. In that vein, I’m learning to do things for myself more, like hobbies and taking better care of myself. I’ve gotten back into photography, been processing pictures finally, and I’ve also really got into sewing. As a matter of fact, I’ll be taking some sewing lessons in May, so that’s pretty exciting. With the warmer weather, I want to do more with my car, the 300zx, and get my house better maintained, last year I didn’t do anything with it so it’s a mess. Rock climbing has been happening more, though not near as often as I’d like, but I have my kids a lot so it’s aright. I’ve also been cooking more and as of today, it’s been 262 days sober, no alcohol at all, and I guess that is exciting. Sobriety isn’t hard, it frustrates me that I didn’t do it sooner, but I can’t change the past, just have to keep moving forward.
My mom’s birthday is coming up, and that’s going to be hard, because Jill won’t be a part of it this year, I don’t expect her to be anyway.. I’m a little nervous about it, and I can’t place why, but it feels like this is going to be a different birthday.. She would have been turning 64, grandma to my kids as well as my brother’s, 3 of which never got the chance to meet her.. It’s hard, but just have to keep moving forward.
I feel like that’s pretty much it for now, and undoubtedly something will happen after I post this.
Later days.
PS, here are some pictures I’ve been working on.
“You ask me what I’m thinking as I sink into the floor
But I don’t think I really wanna be here anymore
Not anymore
Oh no
Hold my breath for one more year just waiting here for you
Staring at the door until my face is turning blue
Yeah, and all the bombs you swore you wouldn’t drop
And all the love you swore would never stop
I guess it’s just your way of saying your goodbye
The sun is up, but you’re not shining
I let you win, I love to lose
I wash my hands with dirty water
I never should, but I always do
The sun is up, but you’re not shining
I let you win, I love to lose
I wash my hands with dirty water
I never should, but I always do”