We're going to start things off by reiterating the passage at the top of Hell On The Throat, things have changed a lot lately, they've had their ups and their downs, people have come and gone, for some I'm the one that's gone; possible futures becoming only a separate curve in the multiverse, but not the one taken in this narrative. In any case, this life has me in a place that is very different from what I've come to know as life for the many past years. There are always ups and downs. I hope that this website can get back into some semblance of a record of travels and life events more than “housekeeping.”
Let's see... I lost the job at Stadler, sucks but at the same time I hadn’t breathed so deeply as I did walking away from that place.
Dana and I have gone different ways, I pushed her away, it’s something that’ll probably never fully heal, if I’m to be honest, but I hope she finds happiness.. As it does, life comes to a head and choices have to be made, it's not easy, honestly, but it's a part of life, to walk forward with choices and walk away from others.
A different issue wit ha different person caused major fallout for me, due to many of my friends choosing a sugar coated explanation of a tough situated told from one side, a good portion of friends have left my side. On the other side of the coin, I have entered a relationship with Jill, we dated years ago, remained friends, and decided to date again over the past few months. Anyway, we'll have this hap-hazardous cut from what life was months ago, and where we are now and continue, with events coming out of time and more grouped by similar situations.
I went camping in Flaming Gorge during this lovely Summer Break from work I've found myself in, with Jillian. We just slept in a tent, having a good time without making a big problem out of it, not having much and me being out of work. We met up with her dad and some of her siblings, just a good time. A couple weeks later, we went again, but this time with her kids, Marcus and Sienna. This was a pretty big thing for us, and me. It was here I had to really learn how to help and care for these little animals, as my dad would put it. We’re also going to snowball the other camping trip highlights in this. The last trip had us there for Pioneer Weekend, and that was a really great time. Jill’s ex-husband was there, camped not far from where we were tenting, a strange game of hot potato taking turns with the kids. Life has been a series of rapid growth lately, and I want to believe I’m really doing something well. At one point we went fishing, something I love to do but honestly am not great at haha. I caught my first fish that trip, and also fell into the lake, great for someone that can’t swim ha. It was honestly a really refreshing, being around Jill’s family and friends. I’m sure a theme that has probably show up quite often has been my relatively aloof nature, if not down right avoidance of people, when it comes to family or friends, I don’t do much with either and have a very small, close circle. Flaming Gorge is an interesting place; there’s water, hills, awesome overlooks and cliffs to jump off, and some tasty fish. You know, I don’t really know what to say haha, so I’m just going to let pictures speak for themselves.
In addition to getting out and camping this summer in Flaming Gorge, there was another camp out. Hosted by Risque Soiree, an event called Naughty By Nature, an adult spin on the classic summer campout; games, war, drinks and cookouts, with adult oriented classes and a no shame atmosphere, typical to the nature of these events. I work as a volunteer at the events, doing photography for them, as well as helping coordinate events. Unfortunately I can’t delve into them too much haha, but you’re welcome to check them out yourself, but forewarned, it’s NSFW. They can be found here [Risque Soiree]. I’m definitely looking forward to being at the Halloween Erotic Ball, the name alone should give you an idea haha, but I’ll put up some photos from a few of the events.
Another event fast approaching was The Wendover Project, hosted by Paul Butler, and there were test shoots to do. We had a few women that volunteered to be a part of it, unfortunately they bailed at the last minute and we were in a crunch.. So Jill, my girlfriend begrudgingly volunteered to be a part of the test shoot. It was interesting to see her push so far out of her comfort zone, and I was admittedly really proud of her. Speaking of getting out of a comfort zone, Paul also had a co-ed shoot at the house, in which I put down the camera, stripped down, covered myself in paint and joined the models.. It was interesting, I’m still not sure what I make of it haha but it was a good experience to really go through what the models have to go through. I enjoyed it, but I think I’ll stay behind the lens.
Thank you for reading, I’m sure things have derailed a bit here and there and this is nothing like what people thought they’d read, but it is what it is.
“So here I am, doing everything I can
Holding on to what I am
Pretending I’m a superman
I’m trying to keep, the ground on my feet
Seems the world is falling down around me
The night’s are long, I’m singing this song
Trying to make the answer’s more a maybe
And I’m so confused, about what to do
Sometimes I want to throw it all away”