It is roughly 2.5hrs till my Going Away Party begins, I got bored waiting and made a fire since it's a little chilly outside, and it dawns on me; I put next to no effort into my party but I worked for a week getting the house ready for Her going away party haha.. It's beginning to really hit that in a few days, I will be gone from this place and completely alone. I won't lie, it woke me up this morning in a bit of a panic, but there was a lot of excitement too. I hope I'm passing through towns quickly, I feel I'd much like to be in nature more than civilization.
Last night we had Friendsgiving with the Gentle family, Rod and Kelly and their kids. We had a lot of friends there, though I unfortunately forgot all about my camera and didn't use it, then forgot it there, so hopefully I'll have that back in a few hours. I didn't talk too much, mostly observed everyone there, just soaking in the peculiar places life takes me, the friends I make, it's really cool.. I'm going to miss Rod and Kelly, they've been pretty great to get to know, nothing but caring and protective of all in our group, and people in general. I hope I can be as lucky as they are to have found each other in a world like this.
I'm damn near done with everything I need to do before leaving, and it feels good to have weight falling away from my life, just being able to live without reserve. Anyway, back to this Going Away Party... eh, I'm trying to be good about this, it'll be the last time I see a lot of them for a long time, probably nearly two years, when I make my loop and find myself back this way.. As much as I tell myself I like being alone, I am really grateful to have made these friends, some old, some new, but all I would do anything for. I'm sure I'll update with pictures tomorrow or something, from the going away party. I should do a Youtube video as well, but I really don't know how to do that sort of thing haha. In other news, I bought my hammock tent, and I'm really excited to use it, though it may be tricky if there aren't many trees around.. I'll figure something out, I'm sure.
I'm sitting here just watching the fire while I think of what to write, and I two thoughts just stand out... I wish my mom was here to see me go, and I wish that about Her as well, even if things aren't the same between us anymore. I feel I'll hold on even when I'm gone, not to hope that we'll pick up on things someday, but hold on to just the thoughts and memories of Her, the good times we had, the hard times we helped each other though.. It's strange to feel that someone alive is in the same category as my mom, who is no longer living.. but I miss them both. Anyway, I suppose I should go do something useful, maybe do a mock pack of my backpacking backpack to let everyone kind of see it all done up. I'm debating having my camera set up on a tripod and letting people record little messages in private, but at the same time I'd really like to take pictures tonight haha.. I'm really leaving, it's happening so soon.. I don't now what I'm looking for, but I hope I find it, I feel like that's what this is all about, figuring things out, finding something meaningful, getting better in my own head.
Later days.
“They’re playing our song
They’re playing our song
Can you see the lights?
Can you hear the hum,
of our song?”