I've never felt more like a child than when watching my best friend leave on a plane home, while I'm getting prepared to leave on my trip in earnest... Molly has been on of my biggest cheerleaders, a source of strength, and a loving companion, truly a best friend in every sense.. I'm really going to miss her a lot, she has done a lot to help me over the year we've known each other.
It's Sunday afternoon, nearly 3pm on 11/27/2016, in two days I should get the last of my gear in the mail and be headed out from John and Becky's, whom have been incredible this whole time, hope to repay them someday for their kindness and warming welcome into their home. I definitely appreciate all they've done, it's taken a huge burden and stress off my mind. I'm going to miss their company, hot showers, and nice, home cooked meals, it's been great getting to know them.
I'm suppose to get a couple pictures of them before I leave, for their Christmas cards, what a fun idea! I don't remember the last time we did Christmas Cards in my family, let alone sent a picture of everyone. I'm hoping to also get some pictures of the night sky before I leave Albuquerque, but the weather has been either overcast or rain/sleeting, outside of the first night. That sky was perfect, but everyone was exhausted and I didn't have a tripod yet, so I decided I'd shoot for a different night.
I've spent a good portion of today just going over the Facebook page, Twitter, YouTube, and this Website, getting things connected, links fixed, posts made, etc. Also been talking to John and Becky for a good portion today, but it's been hard to not feel my thoughts drift to the significance of today.. 1 Year Anniversary since my mom passed, still doesn't feel real, still find myself doing something and thinking, can't wait to tell my mom... but there's no telling her, she's gone. Between my mom, Molly leaving this morning, and well, Her, Lindsay, I'm emotionally exhausted anytime I'm not focused on something, because my thoughts just start to wander to those things, reminding me that I'm alone.. Of all the dangers, of all the risk, of all the possible things that can go wrong, I worry about how I'll handle being so alone, with no distractions, just time to think, to really let myself come to grips with this past year, it's been a hell of a year. My family did a memorial service, let out balloons with messages on them, wish I could have been there, but those plans were made long after my plans for New Mexico.
[Had a quick phone call with my dad, just to see how he's doing, he seems like he's doing alright, missing my mom but I'm proud of him for making it through this year, hoping he makes it through many more. 11/27/16 @23:15]
I forgot where I was going with this, but I think in any case, good time to stop. I'll be leaving Cedar Crest to head to Santa Fe, try to meet with Forrest Fenn, a treasure hunter that left a rather large treasure somewhere in the Rocky Mountains. From Santa Fe, I'll head south east to Roswell, and then I'll leave New Mexico for Texas, curious to see how this trek goes in it's first month.
“Carve your heart out yourself.
Hopelessness is your cell.
Since you’ve drawn out these lines,
are you protected from trying times?
Man it takes a silly girl
to lie about the dreams she has.
But lord, it takes a lonely one to wish
that she had never dreamt at all.”