Day before New Year’s Eve and I’m at work… it’s dead in here. I have one meeting I’m waiting for… so why not do some test prints?
One of my goals for this next year is to get the shop part of my website going, start selling art prints, and really pushing myself to make my side businesses work for me. Why not start that process now and get it going when I have a minute to run some tests? Over all, they are printing a lot better than I expected, and that’s on a normally industrial printer, no color, just black toner. I’m curious if the paper quality could make the art look better on this thing, might bring in some card stock one of these days. It makes me feel a little more confident in getting a limited run set of prints going, I’m sure I’ll end up with tons of extras so I don’t want to make batches too big, but I think January is a good time to roll those out, maybe two prints a month, one that stays and one that is limited? Just spit balling some ideas..
I feel like 2022 is a year I just have to pull the trigger on a lot of ideas I’ve put off, things I want to do and ways I need to grow. I’m going into it with my kids with me, just us sitting at home, me hoping they stay asleep while I occupy my time with anything I can. It’s going to be tough, haven’t walked into a new year on my own in a long time, but it’s ok, it’s like any other day, and everyday is a chance to do better and be better than the day before. I have some really good goals for this coming year, and not a lot of reason to not attain them.. Maybe I’ll list them before the big day is upon us, maybe I’ll keep them to myself, but no matter what, I’ll be holding myself accountable to see them through. I’ve spent a lot of my life, especially the past couple months, either watching it pass me by or by clawing my way through it… I want to do better than that, I want my kids to grow up knowing better than that, I want them to be self-sufficient, but know how to ask for help and be ok with accepting help, know it’s ok to feel your emotions, it’s ok to cry. Hearing me talk like this makes me think of something Ria and Abby have said upon seeing me after such a long time, “you’ve grown up, you’re adulting, things will get better.” I just need to remember that it’s going to be ok, and let go of what I can’t control. I always land on my feet, I will find my own path, one of growth and change, it’ll be ok, things will get better.
I’m not really sure what else there is to say, it’s been a year, I’m tired, I wish things were different, but I’m ok, I’m still getting back on my feet every time I get knocked down. In addition to that, I’m standing on my own two feet, but I have people I trust and can lean on again, it’s small, but it’s there and I’m getting better at leaning on others. I’m definitely going into this new year as a vastly different person than I came into it as, a little more broken, a little more experienced, a little wiser if you will, but also a little better, and getting better every day. I’m not sure if excited is the word I would use, not sure if it’s determined either, but I’m ready to take on this opportunity at a fresh start, and not squander it.. I’ll walk on my own, for however long life wants me to.
It’s New Year’s Eve, I’m sitting at home while the kids sleep, wishing things would play out differently tonight, play out like a movie, but unfortunately, this is no movie, this is real life, and things will play out the way they will, regardless of all my wishes.
Everyday, I am learning and growing, and still, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.. Some books need to stay closed, sometimes what has been done is all that should be, and should be left alone. Always learning, the lessons are always hard and painful, but maybe one day, I’ll be able to to know the right thing to do before doing the wrong, with the best of intentions.
The die is cast, there is nothing more I can do, and things will happen the way they need.. And I will watch the night close on 2021 alone.
Later days, see you next year!
“So this is the new year
And I don’t feel any different
The clanking of crystal
Explosions off in the distance (in the distance)
So this is the new year
And I have no resolutions
For self assigned penance
For problems with easy solutions
So everybody put your best suit or dress on
Let’s make believe that we are wealthy for just this once
Lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn
As thirty dialogues bleed into one
I wish the world was flat like the old days
Then I could travel just by folding a map
No more airplanes, or speed trains, or freeways
There’d be no distance that can hold us back
There’d be no distance that could hold us back
There’d be no distance that could hold us back
There’d be no distance that could hold us back
So this is the new year
So this is the new year
So this is the new year
So this is the new year”