December 24th, Christmas Eve.. What is there to say? I started the day by rationing out my food, 2 packs of tuna, 1/3 bag of peanuts, 1/4 tin of mixed nuts, and 2 packets of poptarts. Far cry from Christmas Eves in the past, but hey, it's the bed I made. I also spent much of the day avoiding looking at my phone, just taking in much of the day and trying to plan out what to do next. I didn't do much of worth, to be honest, but can't say I feel bad about that either. I ended the night with my dinner of 1 tuna packet, the rest of the peanuts and a poptart pack for dessert. I proceeded to plug my external battery in the bathroom of the campground I was staying at, figured I'd wake up in a couple hours and retrieve it when it was done charging... I did receive a snap from Her, which surprised me, a simple Merry Christmas Chris; you know, it's hard, I don't really want to be Her friend, I'm getting angry and bitter, and that's not how I want to be, so I keep distancing myself, keep walking and trying to figure things out, but it's no use. Her Merry Christmas wasn't the only one I got, just the one that surprised me the most.. Meagan, Molly, and even my siblings sent well wishes, I'm surprised at how much I feel homesick for Utah.
December 25th, Christmas Day! I awoke a few hours after Midnight and set out to get my charger and external, figuring it should be charged up by then, trekking through the fog of the early morning left an unearthly feeling, I rather enjoyed it... Unfortunately someone felt it made a better Christmas present for themselves, because both my charger and external were missing, what a way to start the holiday.. I made the mistake of leaving my charger in there, but at the same time with so many with so much more surrounding me, I figured it would be fine.. Florida has claimed My shoehorn, Samsung Fast Charger, and External Battery, let us have a moment of silence.. I still have a few weeks in Florida, at least, so let's hope it's a little nicer over the next while... Anyway, after getting a couple more hours of sleep, I woke to he sun, had my Christmas breakfast of a poptart, the last of the tin of mixed nuts, followed by my Christmas lunch of the pack of tuna. I picked up camp and got ready to head more towards the beach again, feeling like maybe the chances of something good happening were more likely at those calming blue green waters. After fully packing, I decided it was time to phone a friend, or rather, phone my Aunt Theresa's friend Kristen. What a lifesaver, it was already about 2pm by the time I prepared to leave the area, which would have me walking through bear territory in the dark, as well as areas with the very aggressive homeless population.. However, thanks to Kristen's generosity, I made it to the beach front. From there I was incredibly fortunate to make friends with a family there and they invited me to have dinner with them! Christmas Miracle, a hot meal, new friends, good company and drink, so lucky! I can't say the last time I had food so delicious! I felt a little guilty for receiving such generosity, but they insisted... The night ended with a bonfire where a few of them played different instruments, a guitar, some type of drum, and a harmonica. This is also a complete lie, haha, I spent some of the last few dollars I had getting Thai food since they were the only place open within 5 miles, and then got a beer from the gas station. The Thai food was delicious though, I won't lie about that, some beef, rice and noodles, but I was hungry soon after. I sat watching the day end, alone, but thankful for the friends I did hear from that night. I tried to sleep, though it did not come easily, I thought a lot about my mom, about life back home, about Her, about what the hell I was doing, why I was doing it... I don't really know anymore, I feel like often times, I'm more tired, hurt, and confused than when I started, the growing bitterness isn't helping either. I finally fell asleep a while after midnight.
December 26th, I mostly stayed in the room, going over my supplies, my pack, just trying to work out what could be ditched, what I could go without, but it's tricky, I need so much of it, and the things that weigh the most are in my Chrome bag, the laptop, the art supplies (which at this point have dwindled down considerably), the charging cables for everything. I ended up doing laundry and hanging everything up to dry, just called it a day with that.
December 27th, today, I was lucky enough to be on the road when my Aunt's friend Kristen was driving by, so she pulled over and gave me a ride a ways down the road, an area just outside Sandestin. She was headed to the outlet malls with her son to exchange some items they'd received for Christmas, which helped save me about 20 miles of walking. Well, that's where I'll leave things, figured I'd update this while I got a chance.
“And I was alone
On the fifth day since you’ve gone
This broken glass this early morn
I rub my eyes in the haze
I’m not sleeping anyway
I watch the sun rise up
In the city where I was born
I could call you now
Wouldn’t matter what I’d say
Words just aren’t enough
I hear our song; press repeat
I smell your perfume on the sheets
You always said, “Boy, you’re not so tough””